#did i just spend 2 hours compiling all of this

[wilhelminyard]

compilation of nice/sweet things the foxes said to neil because even though they're a bunch of assholes who'll insult anyone in their vicinity they all just love him so damn much (part 2) :

ANDREW :

"I'm not here for your entertainment" "but as expected you are talented enough to multitask"

"you are neil josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive. I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. but you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it. on that day you're not going to run. you're going to think about what I promised you and you're going to make the call."

"I'm not afraid of you" "that's why you're so interesting"

DAN :

"don't thank us, remember us. we're your teammates. we're here to help you with whatever you need."

"you've got us now"

"that was perfect. but don't do something that reckless again. we can't replace you. hear me?"

"neil, you can use the girls' shower while we're busy"

MATT :

"just try not to think about it until we get there. you won't do yourself any favorite if you spend the ride stressing out about things you can't change."

"if you don't have anywhere to go, I'll drag you home with me"

KEVIN :

"if you get hurt out there, you do something about it. you take it easy, you have coach pull you, you ask abby for help - I don't care. if you ever say 'I'm fine' about your health again I will make you rue the day you were born"

"neil has no place in riko's games. he is a fox."

"run. it's the only way you'll survive"

"you should be court."

"will you still teach me?" "every night."

"I will watch you. if you want to drink tonight. I won't let you say something you'll regret." "you'll be drunk inside an hour. then who'll stop me?" "I would stop drinking."

"you're not going. do you know what he'll do to you?"

WYMACK :

"why did you pay for stalls coach?" "maybe I knew you'd need them one day"

"neil, if you can't be here say so. abby can take you elsewhere until it's time to leave. get out of here and get some fresh air."

"what can I do?" "I don't know" "when you know, tell me"

"sometimes the world feels so big but then I'm reminded how small it is" "big or small just remember you're not alone in it."

"if riko really was behind it somehow, the blame is all on him. he chose to take out his petty rage on seth. he chose to cross a line. you didn't. you hear me? you didn't. don't ever blame yourself for seth's death. that it too dangerous a road to walk down. you keep your eyes on your own path and keep moving forward"

"neil" "I'm fine" "be fine inside where it's warmer"

"look I know I've always told you all to take your personal problems up with betsy or abby. I've said it's not my place to get into anything outside the court. I hope you've figured out by now I'm just blowing hot air. I'm not real good at being a shoulder, but I do have a working set of ears."

"help me" "let me"

"this doesn't mean anything. I'm still a fox." "of course you are."

NICKY :

"kid you're killing me. why do you always get that deer-in-headlights look when someone does something nice for you?"

"you worry about neil's career. I'll worry about his personal happiness."

"I didn't really get into the gritty details last time because those aren't reallt dan and matt's business, but you're family, so I can tell you."

"there's obsession and there's dysfunction. you can't make exy your end-all be-all. this won't last forever, okay? you'll shine bright, then you'll retire, and then what? you gonna spend the rest of your life at home alone with all your trophies? you can't be just this, neil. this isn't enough to live for."

"thanks for taking one for the team, neil. you're a real friend."

"are we? friends?" "you are going to be the absolute death of me. yeah, kid. we're friends. you're stuck with us, like it or not."

"I only see that look on neil's face when someone tries to do something nice for him, but we all know kevin's as bratty as they come. what did you say, kevin, and do I need to defend neil's honor or what?"

RENEE :

"I am not the girl I once was but the shade of my old life will always existe inside of me. that is what helps me connect with andrew. I am hoping it will help me connect with you."

"I do not know your story. if you've trusted andrew with anything, he hasn't shared the details with me and he never will. but if you are as like us as we first predicted you to be, perhaps one day you can also come to see me as a friend."

"if either andrew or I can help you, please know we are here."

"and you neil? are you all right?"

[chweverni]

HOW I THINK _ bonedo 'n their love languages ! (pt.1)

pairing; ot6!bonedo x fem!reader synopsis; how would your adorable boyfriend(s) express their love for you? word count; 998 author's note; this is my first time writing sth ot6 soo bear with me!! and thank you all for the immense support on my prev posts it means a lot <33 keeping in mind that there are only 5 love languages, i'll try to make it as accurate as possible ! ♡ read pt.2 here !

edit; i did get two of the members' name wrong at first! im so sorry to previous readers :((((((

-

MYUNG JAEHYUN - quality time/physical affection

jaehyun is known for his bubbly personality and moreover he's an ENFP. so chances are, that he's a sucker for one-on-one interaction with his significant other. so, he would like spending every minute he can with you, be it for studies or just simply sitting together with you, talking about your day. he's the one to sulk over delays in any plans you two make and he'll probably go off like, "so, when are you free if not today?", with a VERY adorable pout plastered on his face. (let's not forget how his eyes sparkle most of the times).

also, i think he's very likely to randomly hug or kiss you in the middle of the day. so be ready for very tight back hugs, fore-head kisses, nose kisses, interlocking of hands or wrapping an arm round your shoulder randomly during classes, or during chores or projects!

"just one kiss! i promise it will happen again!", he'll say with a smile, proceeding to cup your face to plant a kiss on your lips.

"can we hold hands? i'm 'bout to sleep. class is getting boring!", he'll say while pulling your chair closer to him quietly to not disturb the class.

PARK SUNG HO - words of affirmation/acts of service

ENTJs although extroverted, are not known to be big fans of physical touch so he'll be more focused on helping you around, be it for school work such as homework, or assignments, or projects. he'd be the one to prepare notes for a class he's not even taking, just so that you can at the least fulfill your five hour sleep schedule. he'd be the one to prepare playlists and compile them in cassettes or CDs so that you can listen to them while doing anything.

when you're studying together at the library, if you're picking up something from under the table, he'll make sure to cover the edges of the table with his hand, so that you don't get hurt. the type to open car doors, or classroom doors for you.

he'd be the type to want to listen to words of affirmation which assures him that you still love him in the relationship. and this goes both ways, he'll also praise you and your achievements (even the smallest ones).

"ah! i'm so proud of you, love! i knew you could do it.", he'll say, being your biggest supporter at anything you do.

"i love you a lot, and maybe you've heard that a million times already. but, my love for you is exponential."

LEE SANG HYEOK - physical touch/words of affirmation

riwoo is a cutie patootie and for him, intimate actions such as hugs, kisses, holding hands, wrapping arms around your arm/waist and words to affirm that he, in fact, is the one for you, is the best thing one can do to make him feel loved. think of it like this, if you remember every little thing he says and acknowledge his interests, likes and dislikes, he'll probably just wife you right there and then. (not that it's that easy though! he's probably the one who takes long before they let someone in their hearts/lives)

and it goes both ways too, he'll remember the most insignificant thing you say and remind you how cute, pretty, sexy, kind, caring, understanding you are.

"you're a good listener, you understand me so well baby.", he'll say, leaving a short kiss on your lips.

"and a good kisser too! i won the lottery!"

he'll be the one to keep you close to him whenever you both go out for a date. it's like, he loves you too much to let you go. he'll put your hand in his pockets if it's cold (still holding hands there, too!). he'll randomly just go ahead and give you recharge hugs when you're preparing for exams or tests at school.

"i hope you feel better because your warm hugs are like batteries for me to continue with school."

HAN DONG MIN - quality time/acts of service

INTJs are a bunch of people who like to focus on more deeper aspects on relationships, such as communicating, understanding and helping each other out during hard and stressful times. taesan would be the type to engage in deep and long thoughts with you, often asking you if there's anything at all bothering you. "can i say something about this baby? or you'd like me to listen?", he'll say, while softly rubbing your back, when you're opening up about your day.

acts of service go both ways for you two. he'd be the type to carry your stuff for you if it's too heavy. or the one who give you a piggy back ride if your shoes hurt your feet. he'll push stray strands of hair out of your face when you're reading something with concentration. and for you, you'll make him food whenever he's late from practice. or save him the work given at school, so that he can catch up without difficulties. you'd make small cards to remember his birthday and plan dates whenever you can to show him that you love him as much as he does.

"love, you didn't have to do this.. you were probably busy with school work too..", he'd say, fiddling with his fingers, feeling bad that you went out of your way to make him food while he practised.

"no! this is my way of saying that i love my hard-working boyfriend a lot and he should learn how to accept my gifts, because this is gonna be a long-term thing from now on-wards!"

"i love you..", he'll reply, sitting down with you to eat together, while you ask him how things went there. maybe you offer back pats and head pats as he talks about it. he'll be thrilled to see little notes you leave at his backpack during practice and will most definitely call you afterwards to return the favor!

-

hehe! i'll update about the remaining two members later! i hope this post intrigued you lol

all creds to chweverni only on tumblr! <3 come back for more!!!

[tallteenturtle]

Nancy Drew: Curse of Blackmoor Manor

I fell down a bit of a heraldry rabbit hole recently and decided to spend several hours compiling info about the Penvellyn family off the wiki and then used online heraldry resources to analyze their individual coat of arms. Did the game devs intend the shields to be interpreted this way? Probably not. But if I dont over-analyze 20 year old childrens computer games what else am I going to do with my life??

Here are all the people whose portraits hang in the great hall along with info we learn about them from Jane (and occasionally Nigel), their coat of arms, and my amateur interpretation of the symbolism.

Randulf ( - 1401)

“Randulf the Red, so named for his bright red hair, was considered a hero at the Battle of Poitiers. For his heroism, King Edward III awarded him with the lands in the region called "Penvellyn". That's how we got our name.”

Randulf's coat of arms says "IN HOC SIGNO" which translates to "in this sign (you will conquer)"

Comet; unknown in heraldry but refers to the family treasure

Red; Military might, warrior.

(putting the rest under the cut to save you much scrolling)

Odo (1354 – 1404)

“Yeah, he isn't very exciting, really. Liked farming and cows. His son Milo is much more interesting.”

“Those Manuscripts are very old and brittle. They date back to the 14th century. Odo Penvellyn collected most of them. His father Randulf and son Milo were rather more interested in military victories than in book collecting.”

Odo's coat of arms says "PROSPERITAS" which translates to "success".

Milo (1376 – 1423)

Green; Hope, joy, loyalty

Deer/hart; One who will not fight unless provoked, peace and harmony

“Milo inherited not only his grandfather's red hair but his military prowess. Milo was instrumental in the Siege of Caen and was awarded even more lands by Henry V.”

Milo's coat of arms says "VICTUM INVIDEO SILENTE" which translates to "the conquered shall envy the dead".

Hugo (1401 – 1466)

Comet; unknown in heraldry

Red; Military might, warrior

Teardrop; “One who has endured torrents”

“Um, he had a lot of kids, and his dates were 1401 to 1466.”

Hugo's coat of arms says "CITO FIT QUOD DEI VOLUNT" which translates to "what the gods want happens soon".

Albert (1427 – 1508)

Bee; Industrious, diligent

Acorn; Antiquity, strength

Red; Military might, warrior

Green; Hope, joy, loyalty

“He was very mysterious and the people of Blackmoor were afraid of him because he knew all these scientific things. No one knows much about him, though.”

Albert's coat of arms says "TIMENDI CAUSA EST NESCIRE" which translates to "ignorance is the cause of fear".

Edmund (1447 – 1499)

Book (open); Manifestation, knowledge

Blue; Truth, loyalty

Green; Hope, joy, loyalty

“He was into cows. He did a lot of breeding of cows and sheep and got some kind of award from the King.”

Edmund's coat of arms says "UT SEMENTUM FECERIS ITA METES" which translates to "As you sow, so shall you reap".

Charles (1478 – 1553)

Hawk (Falcon): One who does not rest until objective achieved, purpose, goal-oriented

Red; Military might, warrior

Blue; Truth, loyalty

"Ooh, ooh - Charles was a very famous judge and wrote very important books on law. But his boy, Garrett, drowned when he was really young.”

Charles's coat of arms says "MINIMA MAXIMA SUNT" which translates to "The smallest things are the most important".

Thomas (1526 – 1584)

Rainbow; Good times after bad

Moon; Serene power over the mundane

Sun; Creativity and enlightenment

Blue; Truth, loyalty

“He was Charles's grandson and wrote a lot of poetry. He also had 3 wives: Catherine, Anne, and Mary. But not like at the same time. They died and he just remarried.”

Thomas's coat of arms says "AGE PRO VIRIBUS" which translates to "in all that you do, do your best".

James (1560 – 1650)

Eagle (2 heads); Joining 2 strong forces

Purple; Nobility and justice

Green; Hope, joy, loyalty

T is presumably for Thomas, no heraldic meaning

“He never married but one day, when he was very old, a baby was found on the doorstep to the manor. He took her in and raised her as his own. That was Elinor.”

James's coat of arms says "ARS LONGA" which translates to "art lives long" (from the phrase, ars longa vita brevis - art is long, life is short).

Elinor (1626 – 1650)

Maltese cross; Blessings, protection

Red; Military might, warrior

Green; Hope, joy, loyalty

Blue; Truth, loyalty

Purple; Nobility and justice

“Just that she was burned as a witch but it wasn't true and her father, James, died when he saw her die and then the family fled to France. I don't want to talk about this.”

Elinor's coat of arms says "AUDACES FORTUNA IUVAT" which translates to "fortune favors the bold".

Corbin (1670 – 1741)

Lion rampant; Courage, integrity, strength

Red; Military might, warrior

Purple; Nobility and justice

“Uh…I dunno. He doesn't have a coat of arms in the Great Hall because he didn't live here; wasn't even a British subject. That's all I know.”

Corbin's coat of arms says "NUNQUAM DEDISCEO" which translates to "never forget".

This shield is notably absent from the great hall, and also is the only one to feature decoration on the outside of the shield.

Sun; Fountain of life, intelligence, innovation, creativity, enlightenment

Wheat; Faithful

Vines/Ivy; Strong and lasting friendship, academia

Philippe (1689 – 1777)

“He made a fortune in the New World and bought back most of the lands that were confiscated by Cromwell.”

Philippe's coat of arms says "NOVUS MUNDUS" which translates to "a new world".

Penelope (1714 – 1783)

Fleur de Lis; Symbol of France

Purple; Nobility and justice

Blue; Truth, loyalty

“I don't know very much about her, except that she was very loved by practically everyone in England, and there were a million poems written about her.”

“Those are mainly Penelope Penvellyn's collections of French novels. She was a patron to a raft of artists, and her salon was quite popular. She was quite the libertine, even kept her maiden name after her marriage.”

Penelope's coat of arms says "PULCHRITUDO IN OMNIA" which translates to "there is beauty in all things".

Martha (1739 – 1791)

Pegasus; Poetic genius and inspiration

Fleur de lis; Symbol of France

Lion rampant; Courage and integrity

Wheel; fortune, cycle of life

Purple; Nobility and justice

Red; Military might, warrior

“She was completely daft - she'd wear really bizarre outfits and she was one of the first women to ride on a steam train.” (This is particularly impressive as the steam train did not exist until 10 years after her death. Oops!)

Martha's coat of arms says "SINE SCIENTIA ARS NIHIL EST" which translates to "without understanding, art is nothing".

Brigitte (1759 – 1833)

Unicorn; Extreme courage, virtue, strength.

Teardrop symbolism; “One who has endured torrents” gold means generosity or elevation of the mind.

The gear and atom are not traditional heraldic symbols but can represent progress and science.

Red; Military might, warrior

Green; Hope, joy, loyalty

Blue; Truth, loyalty

Purple; Nobility and justice

“She never married and was bonkers for astronomy; she adopted her sister's son, Richard, who later got killed at Waterloo."

Brigitte's coat of arms says "LUDI SINE GAUDIO LUDI NON SUNT" which translates to "sport without fun is not sport."

"Brigitte with her eyes so bright, looks toward heaven at midnight on the longest night of year, that's the one she holds most dear. 'Starry friends,' she's often heard to say, 'how I wish that I could make you stay.' She knows though they can't remain, time will bring them 'round again."

Only shield to have white decorations on the colored background

Star; Divine quality from above

Dove; Loving constancy and peace

Compass; Direction

Purple; Nobility and justice

Richard (1787 – 1815)

“He died in Waterloo fighting against Napoleon.”

Richard's coat of arms says "SI SIC OMNES" which translates to "if only this could last forever".

Edward (1809 – 1904)

Banner down center shield (the Pale); Military or defensive strength

Star; Divine quality from above. The specific star (nautical star) is not traditional heraldry but symbolizes finding way home.

Red; Military might, warrior

Green; Hope, joy, loyalty

Purple; Nobility and justice

“He was a big explorer and went all over the world. He wasn't very close with his son, who was also an explorer. They'd only see each other by chance in weird remote places like Samarkand or Walla Walla.”

Edward's coat of arms says "BIS VIVAT QUI BON VIVAT" which translates to "Whoever lives well lives twice".

Knight (especially on horseback); The soul guiding the body; man’s journey through life

Lightning Bolt: Swiftness and power; spiritual enlightenment.

Unicorn; Extreme courage, virtue, strength.

I dont know what the warrior with the spear and sword means

Scepter; Emblem of Justice

Green; Hope, joy, loyalty

Blue; Truth, loyalty

William (1833 – 1901)

“He was an explorer, just like his father. He was kind of a whiner, so I heard.”

William's coat of arms says "DIES PERDIDI" which translates to "another day wasted".

John (1873 – 1954)

Bend Sinister (the band across the shield); Sometimes used to indicate illegitimacy. If that is the meaning here that would be very interesting and explain why he wasnt close with his father

Red; Military might, warrior

Green; Hope, joy, loyalty

“He was this huge naturalist and did a lot of exploration in the Amazon. I think there's a plant named after him. Or maybe a monkey; I forget.”

John's coat of arms says "PER AURES AD ANIMUM" which translates to "through the ears to the spirit".

Malachi (1894 – 1972)

Parrot and mouth not traditional symbols but probably represent interest in wildlife and linguistics.

Green; Hope, joy, loyalty

Blue; Truth, loyalty

“He was a doctor of medicine and did a lot of research on icky skin diseases.”

Malachi's coat of arms says "NUMEN LUMEN" which translates to "divine light is my guide".

Alan (1923 – 1993)

Sun; Fountain of life, intelligence, innovation, creativity, enlightenment

Purple; Nobility and justice

“He was my grandfather but I didn't know him because he died when I was little. I guess he was nice.”

Alan's coat of arms says "PURGAMENTUM EXIT" which translates to "garbage out" (referencing part of a programmers' saying "garbage in, garbage out").

Serpent; Wisdom

Red; Military might, warrior

[cityofjieun]

★ . . . . -ˏˋ 2KIDS ROOMˊˎ | EP. 3 - JIA x HAN

date: february 2022 era: maniac word count: 1.4K

a/n: this took a lot longer than i planned and i'm not sure if i like it but if i don't post it now i literally never will. 2 ji is a realtionship thats very dear to me so i hope i did them justice. please lemme know what you think 🙇🏽‍♀️

THE 2KR INTRO PLAYS, FEATURING A COMPILATION OF THE TWO GIGGLING AT EACH OTHER’S EXPENSE, THE OTHER MEMBER USUALLY STARING BLANKLY OR STRUGGLING TO NOT RETURN THE SMILE.

HAN: [sitting on the couch by himself, looking off camera] are you going to come over here so we can start or are you going to stall a little longer?

JIA: [OFF CAMERA] i’m waiting for manager-nim to find the clause in my contract that says i wouldn't have to film with han-ssi outside of group schedules... i think this is a mistake.

HAN: [GIGGLING BUT LOOKING TOWARD THE CAMERA] do you see how difficult jia-nim is… aish, she’s caught the celebrity disease.

JIA: and you would know all about that, oppa-nim [ SITTING DOWN ON THE COUCH ] i mean, you caught it before you were even famous.

HAN: okay, moving on!

꩜

SEUNGMIN: han and jia.

FELIX: they’re like oil and vinegar.

CHANGBIN: in what way??

CHAN: they don’t mix necessarily, but they still go together well.

[ FELIX HUMS IN AGREEMENT ]

꩜

JIA: [ CLAPS ] chidongz 2kids room!

HAN: i still don't know how to feel about that?

JIA: you learn to live with it, i mean it’s a cuter way of calling us rodents…

HAN: [SIGHS]

JIA: anyways, when was the last time we hung out, han-ssi?

HAN: i remember we watched that j-drama you saw on tiktok together but i can’t exactly remember when that was. i see you so much that it kind of blurs together.

JIA: honestly, we are together a lot. you are a homebody, so we don’t actually go out as much as i wish we would, but we usually hang out together at the dorms.

꩜

HYUNJIN: have you noticed that they always tend to end up at our dorm?

JEONGIN: which is interesting, because you'd think jisung-hyung would just come over to ours more because jieun and lino-hyung are there and he could kill two birds with one stone.

[ THE TWO LAUGH]

MINHO: ??

HYUNJIN: that gives him too much credit, it's too sensible.

MINHO: [POINTEDLY IGNORING HYUNJIN] i think it's because jisung-ah thrives in his own personal space, while being home for too long might make jieunnie feel a bit trapped.

꩜

HAN: but we did go out recently to... [TRAILING OFF] umm… what was it…

JIA: [CUTTING HIM OFF] so the time we spend together means nothing.

HAN: stop.

[ THEY STOP LOOKING AT EACH OTHER SERIOUSLY FOR A MOMENT BEFORE JISUNG BREAK INTO LAUGHTER FOLLOWED BY JIEUN ]

JIA: anyways! we went to a cafe in hannam-dong i really wanted to try. i saw it in yoon seung-ah’s vlogs. they’re known for their bagels and that location specifically has a pretty view of the river so i wanted to take insta pictures.

HAN: OH! and we got lost trying to find it?

JIA: because you insisted, we didn't need directions. HAN: [ROLLS EYES] hey, we found it eventually, didn't we? JIA: after wandering around for an hour! by the time we got there the wait was insane.

HAN: [UNDER HIS BREATH] yeah and the bagels were a bit mid for how long we waited.

JIA: we wouldn’t have had to so long if some had gotten up when i told him to originally AND actually used his phone maps [WACKING HIS SHOULDER TO EMPHAZISE HER POINT]

[THE TWO START TO BAT AT EACH OTHER BEFORE THE SCENCE CUTS]

JIA: i think we should go on a trip together next time we have a vacation. we’ve never gone anywhere just the two of us like that it could be fun.

HAN: a vacation with you….

JIA: what’s that supposed to mean???

HAN: i’m kidding i’m kidding

JIA: yeah sure.

HAN: you are very J so you would make a whole itinerary, wouldn’t you?

JIA: i think having a general plan of what you want to do make sure you get to make the most of you time

HAN: hmmm sure...where would we even go?[THINKING] Japan could be fun. Lots of great food, and it's a short trip. What about you?

JIA: [SMILES] Japan sounds fun. But I'd say Europe. We could explore so many different countries and cultures. I’d love to be able to use my french.

HAN: oh, i have an interesting question, what would we do if the other disappeared.

JIA: oh, this gets a bit serious.

HAN: [SERIOUS] it's funny because i think with any other member, i think i’d want to let them have their space because obviously if they run away, it's for some reason and they want to be alone. but i think if you were so upset that you’d isolate yourself, i’d have to check on you immediately. [ TOWARDS THE CAMERA TO AVOID EYE CONTACT WITH JIEUN ] she isn't someone that likes to be by herself, alone time isn’t really something she seeks because she thrives around others, so i think if she's going out of her way to be by herself like that something is really wrong.

JIA: [A BIT STARTLED AT HIS SERIOUSNESS, AS WELL AS THE SLIGHT READ] aww ji…[POKING HIS ARM] i think i'd obviously want to respect the fact that hanji wanted time alone, but i'd have to check in at some point. [SHE PEEKS AT JISUNG BEFORE CONTINUING A BIT BASHFULLY] i know we have very different social batteries, and hanji is pretty good about just letting me know when he needs some time to himself. but i think if he was to go off and not respond i’d be worried.”

꩜

CHAN: honestly, i think out of everyone, jieun has opened up to han the most, besides seungmin.

FELIX: which is interesting because they’re so different.

[THE FOUR MURMUR IN AGREEMENT]

SEUNGMIN: i think they get on so well because they’re aware of how different they are.

CHANGBIN: oh absolutely. the two used to clash a lot, and i think they came to a point where they had to understand how they were different, and what accommodations they need to make to understand the other better.

CHAN: wahh changbin, you're so insightful.

꩜

[SENTIMENTAL SILENCE]

JIA: this may be the only time i every admit to this, but sometimes i wish i were more like you in some ways

HAN: in what ways?

JIA: i mean, like you said earlier i’m not one who enjoys being by themselves. i think when i'm alone for too long i begin to think too hard and get into my own head. honestly, i think not being able to properly spend time alone with myself is a bit unhealthy. i kinda admire the fact that you are capable of being on your own and enjoy your own company.

꩜

MINHO: i’ve been trying to get jieunnie to understand that it’s not wrong to want to be around others and have companionship, it's an innately human thing, you know.

HYUNJIN: she’s a lot like changbin-hyung. he likes to just sit in my room with me to just be there.

JEONGIN: [GIGGLING TO HIMSELF] well, that's because it's you and changbin hyung…

HYUNJIN: …

꩜

JIA: skz-gi behind the camera look like they want us to start wrapping up

HAN: any final words?

[JIA HUMS, SEEMINGLY WEIGHING SOMETHING BACK AND FORTH IN HER MIND, BEFORE SIGHING AND GRABBING ONE OF JISUNGS HANDS]

JIA: i know i don’t say this often but thank you.

HAN: what for?

JIA: being my person i guess? you have always worked really hard to understand me, as well as help me understand myself. i’m so grateful to have a friend like you in my life and i’m so happy i get to live out my childhood dreams with my best friend.

HAN: jieun...

JIA: hey, let me finish. thank you for growing with me thus far, and I'm so excited to see where we go... together.

HAN: jieunnie..

JIA: if you cry so will I

HAN: thank you for understanding me as well. i know i haven't always been the easiest to deal with but y

[ THE TWO SIT IN SILENCE FOR A MOMENT, SOAKING IN JIEUN'S BEFORE JISUNG CLEARS HIS THROAT. THE SOUND MAKES JIEUN SNICKER FOR A MOMENT BEFORE THE TWO DISSOLVES INTO SILENT TEARS. THE VIDEO CUTS TO THE TWO, LESS TEARY BUT NOSES OBVIOUSLY A LITTLE STUFFY]

JIA: well, this was fun.

HAN: should we take our picture and head out?

JIA: yes please [END]

©︎ cityofjieun, all rights reserved. pls, do not copy or repost my work.

[poughkeepsies]

okay twist my arm here's my fic rec list

category: the most underrated fics that have never once left my mind since I first read them and I genuinely think about at least every few weeks in no particular order

(disclaimer that this list does not include a great majority of my beloveds' works but that's because I picked at random from the list of at least 30 that I've compiled over the past few days)

Tell Me Anything - AnnaNSmith/@annansmith - 5.3k

“Hey, Eddie?”

Buck’s voice rings softly in the quiet. A casual lilt on his tongue as he says his name.

“Hm?”

“Tell you something?”

Shrugging, Eddie keeps his eyes fixed at the ceiling above him.

“We got time.”

--

Or, how Buck shattered Eddie's entire world one night by confessing his love to him.

2. shout if you want my heart - hattalove / @hattalove - 5.8k

“I’m not even in the neighborhood of mad,” he says, instead of vomiting any of the thousand feelings warring inside him. “But Buck. This would’ve—this took you hours.”

“I’m good at multitasking,” Buck says, and Eddie can practically hear him shrugging over the phone. “I did all the cooking after I put Chris to bed, and then I got up a little earlier to get the cleaning and laundry done. It was nothing.”

Eddie’s starting to suspect he’ll have to wait for Buck to come back to make him understand that, actually, it kind of was everything.

or, eddie has a tupperware-induced emotional crisis.

3. find a way to you (if it kills me) - foxwatson / @eddiediazes - 19.5k

It’s something about the way Eddie phrases it. Something about the combination of his words and the way he’s staring down at the floor, and the flush in his cheeks and the way he’s fidgeting. Buck thinks, abruptly, he’s going to ask me on a date.

“Well I - wanted to tell you first, and I need someone to watch Chris, anyways - I know he’s getting old enough now he doesn’t like feeling like he’s got a babysitter, so I was hoping - sorry. Not the point. Uh. I have a date on Saturday.”

Just as abruptly as his own hopes had come soaring up above the cloud cover of his own unawareness - they go crashing back down to the floor - to the basement, and into the mud. “A date?” Buck rasps out.

or - the one where eddie decides to start dating again, buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief

4. Finding Home - S_lycopersicum / @slycopersicum-in-disguise - 4.4k

"Buck!" Eddie yelled as he turned his key in the loft door and dumped his suitcase inside.

He immediately got a startled "Eddie?" in response, and thank God for that because if Buck had been out running errands it would have been the last damn straw. But he was here, where Eddie needed him to be, and pounding down the stairs from the stupid platform thing he had instead of a normal bedroom. "Is everything OK?"

"No! You won't answer your goddamn phone and my house is full of bees."

5. counteroffer - buckleyseddie / @buckleyseddie - 25k

There’s a flicker of something across Buck’s face, but he quickly goes back to grinning. “You just want me at your beck and call.”

“Maybe I do.” Eddie shrugs. “You owe it to me.”

Buck sighs, as if put out, but Eddie can see the glimmer of amusement in his eyes. “Okay, then what's it gonna be?”

Eddie hums thoughtfully. He takes his time trying to think of something good. “What about-” he starts.

And that’s the moment Buck licks his lips and Eddie’s eyes dip down to them. And before he knows what comes over him, before he can think the words through, they’re out of his mouth.

“A kiss,” he says.

Buck blinks at him. Eddie blinks back.

“You want a kiss,” Buck repeats, eyebrows rising.

***

Or in order for Buck to make it up to Eddie, Eddie suggests that Buck gives him one hundred kisses.

6. keep me as your finish line - thatbuddie (talktothesky) / @thatbuddie - 33k

“Oh no, we’re not doing this.” Chimney pops a bubble with the gum he’s been chewing as he moves one of his fingers back and forth to point between The-Man-who-isn’t-Buck’s-man-he’s-just-The-Man and Buck. “You didn’t drag me to the gym just so you can ditch me to fuck some guy in the showers."

Buck lowers his voice, leaning forward as if trying to make the words’s journey shorter between him and Chimney so they can’t escape and reach anyone else’s ears,“I wouldn’t fuck him in the showers.”

Chimney’s response is wordless in the form of an eyebrow raise.

“Not anymore, okay?” Buck clarifies, rolling his eyes. “That’s not who I am now."

(spoiler alert: Buck does fuck the guy in the showers. but that comes after nicknaming him Big Beautiful Brown Eyes, finding out his name is actually Eddie, becoming his best friend, and falling madly in love with him.)

7. bring me a higher love - KiaraSayre / @starsandatoms - 7.4k

The A-shift works 4/20, Buck gets accidentally high, and Eddie suffers.

8. home stretch of a hard time - spiritsontheroof - 4.2k

When Buck tells him that he’s engaging in a “year of possibilities” in which he isn’t saying to no anything, Eddie isn’t surprised. It’s exactly the kind of thing Buck would get himself into to break this slump he says he’s been in. He’s changing his life, or so he says.

9. tying you to me - rarakiplin (gmontys) / @hoediaz - 5.3k

“Diaz?”

The man — and it is Eddie Diaz, Buck can’t not see it now — blinks, and in a split second his expression shutters closed. “Buckley.”

Buck wonders if he looks different without Diaz’s blood on his face.

-

or, eddie and buck meet each other at rock bottom

10. Four Can Keep A Secret - Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars - 20k

When Ravi and Hen accidentally see Buck and Eddie, who are trying hard to keep their new relationship a secret, in the middle of a romantic moment, they try to make them confess without the rest of the station finding out. Shenanigans ensue.

[violentkeysmashing]

So, time for me to get a littl angy.

I setup a brand new, fresh, clean install of debian, for the first good operating system on my main machine. Bravo 2, i got everything looking nice, got steam installed, setup and running my games, got my backups moved over, set everuthing up for VR. Got VR "running"

Just. To. Fucking. Find out.

The tuning software for my GPU and CPU is only packaged for arch and fedora. I try compile the source code, no luck. (I need this to make VR playable - reduce Vsync issues and fix borkedness)

I did find out that it is packaged for debian, but, an unstavmble build that isn't designed for me to really use. So yay!

I spend 5 hours on all of this. Fixing, tweaking, adjusting everything for my final move, aaaaand fucked. So kinda annoyed.

I want to leave windows behind but fuck me is it hard.

So! Tommorrows plan. Arch.

As much as i dont want to hate on fedora, i aint learning that shit, nuh uh. Can't make me.

So i've been reccomended to try out endevor (if that is how you spell it TwT) as its arch based. (According to a mf in the GC, no idea have not done anything remotely with it, its 2am and i aint doing that rn)

So from what i know and have learnt from my arch fuckery i have a lot to do.

Anywhomst angy time over, imma go cuddle up to my blähajs and pass out.

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Compiling some Peppino-centric hcs i have bc i would like to have something to look back on as a point of reference 😌 (this is so long. SO fucking long. Im sorry)

- starting w the basics: hes a short king; 5’2 (157cm). Hes like late 40s-early 50s to me. Hes got brown eyes i never draw bc i like drawing him w dots lol. Hes particular about his appearance and grooms very consistently. Has literally no issues w balding (exposed to balding bears in his youth; thinks they are hot now 😌) and it helps that he can literally cave someones skull in if they speak ill of him. He does have a couple of comfy hats incase his hair decides to be unruly in bad weather.

- very bulky build; think of olympic strongmen/ highland games but short. Visibly muscular arms and broad shoulder, fat chest and stomach, smoother legs (fat layered over muscle; v thick thighs and calves). Hes got surgery scars on his lower back from a bullet wound (only entry/no exit point). Debated giving him a scar around his sternum from heart surgery or some other crazy injury he had but im not sure yet; the bullet extraction scar is definitely staying tho.

-does NOT work out; he used to wrestle in his late teens/early 20s but otherwise he was (still is) a man who did lots of physical labor around his childhood home and grandparents shop. Continued the cycle when he got his own home and his own restaurant; cheaper to do his own (extensive) repairs than call for specialists/contractors when u are Fucking Poor.

- he DOES exercise; he is fond of jogging. He does this alot postgame, usually in the early mornings before he opens, and at the beach on his days off. He had it drilled in v early in his life that he Needs to stay active, so he will roll out of bed and do this almost daily. On his days off he will have random people come and join him; usually pepperman or noisette. Its too tedious/boring of a task for gus and noise, and vigi is out cold until sunrise at minimum.

- he owns a HOUSE; he does not rent an apartment. This is bc i think it would be reasonable to assume that anyone who OWNS a restaurant was at some point, well off enough to own a house instead of renting. And i like the idea of him using this house as collateral; if the shop goes under, so does his home (more stress for him…). (Ive seen other people treat his shop like a duplex ie shop on the lobby level and an apartment/living space on the second floor. This is ALSO v good and coincides w my want to have his home tied to his restaurant)

- the house is small; two bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, and a basement (where the 1/2 bath is located). BIG kitchen, small livingroom. It is surprisingly well furnished bc of his family donating things to him when he bought the house in his 30s. Lots of older wood based furniture. Hes not grossly messy (like food, bugs, etc) but he is disorganized beyond belief. Lives an ‘organized mess’ lifestyle bc of his high stress. Also extremely apathetic to his living conditions until postgame when his restaurant starts to take in profits again; less stress -> more positive time at home -> aware of the clutter as he spends more time at home.

- drives a beat up lookin car to and from work. Its his BABY; his ol reliable. He has to do lots of work to keep her intact and functioning. Eventually gets a newer car with his profits, but its rlly to help ease the strain on her so that he can take her out for drives occasionally.

-eldest of like 6 siblings; will not try to name them all just know that hes the only boy. Eldest daughter is only a year younger than him. Good relationship w all of them and his immediate family. Very matriarchal immediate family. Only a handful of uncles, his dad, and his grandpappy. Stubbornly cut off contact w everyone after the horrors (war) and refused to accept help w his failing restaurant (prideful). Eventually his (eldest) sister reaches out and he makes amends one at a time. (Gets an earful from his momma)

- works LONG hours. Awake by 4am, in noisettes cafe by 5am, in the shop by 6am. Preps and calls until opening at 9am. Closes at 9pm. Closes up FOR REAL at 10pm. Rinse n repeat. As the shop does better financially, he starts opening later and closing earlier (at the insistence of Gus). He still does his walks and his morning routine, just a little later, and he has enough time at home in the evening to cook for himself.

- on the topic of cooking, he is a good chef all around; pizza is just easier to market and consistently do Correct. Likes food alot. So much…..he isnt picky but he does go 😬 when eating something. Bad. And it happens Often.

- stress baked often. He felt bad about throwing out his food afterwards so he would give it away to his neighbors. No longer stress bakes but he will cook out of boredom which is not as bad but still not the best 😭 luckily he has so many freeloaders that will eat anything he makes (gus and noise)

- this is his second shop; the first one was in a larger city (think similar to pig city). Closed down due to insufficient payments, but reopened on the outskirts of the city (close to the forest) after putting up his house as collateral.

-first shop is where he first meets pizzahead. Hes offered a generous sum of cash to sell the business (which would then be converted into a ph brand shop). Obv declined. Later offered a position in pizzaheads business instead; nearly killed the man when scaring him out of his shop.

- Peppino is NOT some aggressive out of control beast (despite what pizzahead believes). He is vaguely neurotic and it is exacerbated by extreme stress and bouts of anxiety. So funny how removing the extreme stress and sources of anxiety makes him more Normal. (Somewhat encouraged by an official image i saw after i made this hc of peppinos attitude outside and inside the tower. He is relatively apathetic and inside the tower he is borderline manic. More hcs about that too)

- he is relatively fun to be with otherwise. He has some extremely dry humor. Hes incredibly sarcastic. He LIKES customer service…otherwise this would be impossible for him to endure. It helps that he Owns a shop, instead of only being a worker; he can yell at people who are rude and annoying to him and he knows (at least postgame) that he has loyal regulars.

- he is a bit of an asshole; he make snide remarks he shouldnt and hes been in his own fair share of fights bc of it. Has mellowed out drastically as he got a better grip on his emotions postgame. Only the most tolerant could really deal w him prior to postgame (gus) in part due to his anger (response to exacerbated neurosis and ptsd)

- also autistic. Extra stress bc of this. Easily overstimulated and the response to this is anger. Completely undiagnosed lmao but hes like late 40s; he just learned how to deal with it.

-common stress responses: bites on anything, usually his hand (Tried stopping this bc people would TOUCH him if he did that in front of others and that just made shit worse). Grinds his teeth. Jaw clenching. Making A Fist So Tight You Accidentally Cut Urself. Flappy hands, usually w hands balled up into a fist (specifically eyes closed; jaw clenched; head ducked, flappy hands over his ducked head). It looks ‘worse’ than biting but at least the excessive movement deters people from touching him.

- on a more positive note; knows quite a bit of magic tricks. Sleight of hand stuff is his forte. It is good for the anxiety and it keeps his hands busy. He is will consistently say that he is not good w kids but he loves entertaining them; they say the funniest shit and he likes being a bad influence on them 😈. Also teaching them tricks and letting them see behind the curtain is so fun for him; like they are so excited about silly tricks and it makes him feel a little cool….

- he is the kind of person whos like (dad voice) ‘not gettin a damn cat in my house’ and then has blackmail of him passed the fuck out with a cat on his stomach. He feeds the local strays by his shop and he cant help but feed the strays that end up by his house. He doesnt feel confident enough to take care of another animal when its so hard for him to remember to take care of himself so for now he just feeds them. But maybe soon he will take them inside…he also baby talks cats but if u caught him doing that he would kill u i think. (Pov u are the noise)

- silly hc that he has a real last name but he keeps it as spaghetti bc its funny to fuck around w people who ask him. No i dont know what his last name would be but i think it would be funny to have him ‘change’ it for branding and have people believe it. Also i think its funny to think of peppino saying this to ph somehow and he completely runs with it as gospel. Like ‘granny did u KNOW his last name is fucking spaghetti??’

- wrt young peppino, i say that w him being 20-23 in mind. Worked in his grandparents shop during this time. Worked as a line cook for some other restaurants as well (and saved up money to buy his own home while he lived w his parents and sisters). He was generally a sweetheart, just a bit odd (the Autsim and Anxiety), but that was (and still is) his charm point lol

- (SUGGESTIVE) cannot stop thinking of him as a little otter that hung out w older bears in the leather scene. He prob had his best years w them before he had to focus on other shit. He still keeps in contact w some of the peeps that were around his age postgame, and they meet up sometimes to hang along w vigilante. Now that hes older it is a bit surreal to now be the bear he used to look up to in his younger years. But its a bit flattering. Noise and Pepperman are younger than him and they both regard him w the same kind of wonder he used to give older bears. He thinks its cute lol (pepperman bc thats his muse and he sees his body type as PEAK human form, and noise bc i hc him as a bit sheltered despite the fame)

- (STILL SUGGESTIVE BUT THATS IT I SWEAR) adjacent to this; its weird for him to come back to this side of him bc hes been living in survival mode for over a decade. Got his house in his early 30s -> WAR -> comes back traumatized -> leaves family to cope -> dumps money into a restaurant to cope w leaving family. So he kinda missed it alot. Its fun to explore it w gus heehee and sometimes noise when he behaves.

-other things i wanted to mention but didnt know where to fit it. Peppino is a decent artist; he drew the logo for his shop and in general he is good at caricatures (another thing he can do to entertain a crowd; helps w anxiety to know how to not be awkward).

- Peppino is a bit of a mechanic (aka he learned bc he was broke and didnt want to call them for minor problems). Hes not a tinkerer but he likes the joy of creating sm and will make little. Creations. every once in a while. One of these creations is Peshino! He is a wooden windup toy made as a prototype for a more mechanical, mass produced version. He was intended to be sold as a cute little toy to help cement the branding for Peppinos shop but he never got the time or money for it, so peshino is collecting a bit of dust in his basement. Postgame, he takes peshino out and cleans him up; he feels a bit guilty about him….and the Big Peshino found in the tower plays music in Peppinos shop :) He also takes the time to clean him up and keep him functional.

Okay i think thats all i got for now byebye

[eliteseven]

Gathered a few recs for the Shadowheart playlist, if that’s still a thing. It’s a little lengthy because I’ve put thought into each one, and could simply go on for hours about this character:

Bring me to Life - Evanescence. Just a really perfect summary of Shadowheart’s Selûnite arc. Her journey from Shar’s darkness into the light, and how the player helps her to see the truth of Shar’s manipulations. With lyrics like ‘call my name and save me from the dark’, ‘Save me from the nothing I’ve become’, ‘I’ve been living a lie, There’s nothing inside’.

Like a Prayer - Madonna. For the religious themes and sexual innuendo of a woman who loves God like she might a person, compared to Shadowheart’s relationship with both the player and her love for Shar (Shadowheart a-likens her love for Shar with Gale’s love for Mystra). More appropriate for Dark Justiciar Shadowheart, where the player is effectively Shadowheart’s side piece/ Mistress to her real relationship with Shar. Bonus points for actually being able to pray to Shadowheart during a sex scene in the game.

Numb - Linkin Park. If you consider the song to be from Shadowheart’s perspective, directed towards Viconia/ Shar. ‘I’m tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface, I don’t know what you’re expecting of me, Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes’, ‘Cause everything that you thought I would be, Has fallen apart right in front of you’, ‘all I want to do, Is be more like me and be less like you’.

Somewhere I belong - Linkin Park. A song about someone trying to escape their pain, and find a place they can belong and be happy. For Shadowheart’s greatest shame; “She doesn’t know who she is, or where she belongs.” She spends the game trying to find a place for herself, whether that be with Shar, with her family, or by Tav’s side. If she ends up travelling alone, then she’s still trying to find it, come the epilogue party.

On the Beach - Chris Rea. Makes me think of the skinny dipping scene. ‘Between the eyes of love I call your name, Behind the guarded walls I used to go’, ‘No-one but you and I, Underneath that moonlit sky, Take me back to the place that I know, On the beach’.

The Housebuilding Song from Red Dead Redemption 2, because Tav and Shadowheart ‘build a little house together’. The song plays during a scene in the game where you build a house and a barn on a country farmstead for your family, which is what Tav and Shadowheart do post-game.

Why can’t this be love - Van Halen. Always makes me think of the mutual pining during Act 1 and Act 2, where Shadowheart refuses to act on her feelings for the player for the sake of Shar and her mission. Carries on into Act 3 on the Shar path, with Shadowheart explicitly saying “I can’t truly love you.”

Sunshine of your love - Cream. Makes me think of the Shar romance ending, with how Shadowheart and Tav have secret trysts whenever Shadowheart slips away from her duties. In particular, it makes me think of the original Shar romance epilogue slide, “By the Night Orchids bloom, her mind doth wander to old friends and an old flame. The one light she is never sad to see, when it doth cast itself upon the steps of the House of Grief.”

Girl - The Beatles. This one’s here exclusively for the line ‘When you say she’s looking good, She acts as if it’s understood’, since Shadowheart responds with “I know” to a player saying “You’re beautiful.”

My Love, My Life - Abba. Shadowheart’s writer did a QnA on one of Jen & Aliona’s streams where he said this would be Shadowheart’s favourite Abba song.

Omg!!! What an incredible addition to the Shadowheart Playlist tag!!!! 😍

I love your picks!! And I love hearing the explanation for why you chose each one! They tie into her story and themes so well! They’re all so fitting (besides being great songs), I can’t wait to listen to them with a fresh perspective! 😄

Thank you so much for sharing your compilation! I’ll be stealing these for my master Shadowheart playlist if you don’t mind! 🥹

[rustycopper4use]

It’s Always Been You Pt.3

 Pt.2

(Kyoya x Male Reader)

Chapter three

 -Beware Of The Physical Exams!-

  The cherry blossoms danced across the school's garden. The sound of laughter, along with preppy chatter could be heard from within it, the cause of it?  Well it’s none other than the host club. Entertaining the ladies with their stunning good looks.

 Y/n is helping Kyoya sell more products to eager guests.

“You have to watch this. You may not get another chance. Who knows when it’ll happen again!” A girl spoke, still staring at the twins usual act.

And in comes Kyoya.

“You're absolutely right, mademoiselle. All beauty is fleeting. Just take a look at these cherry blossoms. You’ll never be able to see them this vibrant again.” He pulls out a couple of books, and shows the girls. 

“-which is why, I’ve compiled this picture book that contains photos that capture the beauty of each passing day. Incidentally, I’ve prepared similar books of the other hosts as well. If you ladies are interested in collecting all four of them, I’ll discount the full set for you.” Kyoya smiled as the girls eagerly bought the set.

“Well now we know how the club makes extra money.” The twins are now next to Y/n, who is looking through some of the photos.

 “But I have to wonder..” Hikaru starts.

“-When did he take pictures of us?” 

…..

“So Haruhi, have you decided your elective courses for this term?” The twins are now hovering over Haruhi.

 “How about conversational French?” Kaoru asked

 “I don’t know..” Haruhi is lost in thought.

 “I think the three of us should take it together. It makes perfect sense… we are in the same class.” 

 As the three talk over classes a gloomy prince watches them.

 “Say, mommy dear?” Tamaki spoke timidly.

 Kyoya looks up from his book.

“What is it now, daddy?” 

Y/n froze, brain overloaded with many conflicting feelings, But before Y/n could dwell on them for long Tamaki began speaking.

“I have a new theory. I mean it’s just my hypothesis, but it seems that by being in the same class, Hikaru and Kaoru are able to spend more time with Haruhi, than i get here at the club. This gives them the chance to get close to her and if that happens…”

Tamaki begins to trail off.

 “Really, Tamaki you’ve just realized that?” Y/n baffled by the blondes obliviousness.

Kyoya pulls up a carefully planned chart.

 “According to my research, in a single day the twins spend roughly nine hours of class time with Haruhi. Meanwhile your contact spent with her is limited to a couple hours of club activities. In other words, your involvement in Haruhi’s life each day amounts to no more than a mere three percent.” Kyoya spoke, Putting the final nail in the coffin. And of course Tamaki hates this news.

 “AAH! I don’t want to hear it! I don’t wanna hear it! I don’t want to hear it! Listen Haruhi. I want you to stop hanging out with those shady twins from now on!” Tamaki yelled.

 “Who’re you calling shady?” Hikaru argued back.

 “Yeah! Take a good look at yourself boss!” Kaoru added.

“Ah! Yes, that’s it! Alright then, we will no longer hide the fact you’re a girl from the school no longer. All daddy wants is for you to go back to the girl you used to be! For you to surround yourself with girlfriends and start living a wholesome life.” Tamaki complains and whines over Haruhi.

 “Who are you calling daddy?” Haruhi spoke, getting more frustrated by the second.

 “Is daddy the word of the day?” Y/n already hearing the word more then he should.

“So do it! Change back right now!” Tamaki demanded 

“You don’t really have to rush things, she’s going to be found out soon enough.” Hikaru states, everyone else is still confused.

 “Physical exams are the day after tomorrow.” Kaoru spoke after.

Leaving everyone frozen except Haruhi.

 “Physical exams?”

“That’s right. I forgot all about it.” Kyoya said. Looking to the rest of the group still processing.

 “Hm that means, there’s no doubt. They’re gonna know, I’m really a girl.” Haruhi spoke rather calmly.

 The twins and Tamaki screamed in realization.

 Though Tamaki was now lost in thought.

“Uh Tamaki?” Y/n stood in front of Tamaki, still dazed in thought.

  “Well, it looks like we lost him.” 

“He must be having a great daydream.” Honey mentioned, also staring at the long gone Tamaki.

“He’s kinda creeping me out..” Hikaru spoke, finally causing a reaction out of Tamaki.

 “Envious Hikaru? This is all part of my strategy. While you’ve wasted time blinded by your jealousy, I’ve seen the outcome of this charade. Ahh, this anime is obviously a romantic school comedy. Haruhi and I are the main characters so that means we are love interests!” Tamaki spoke nonsense to the Club.

 The twins butt in on Tamaki’s fantasy.

“Yeah, then what are we?” 

Tamaki smirks before pointing towards the rest of the host club.

 “You boys are the homosexual supporting cast.” He begins drawing a line with a stick.

 “So please make sure you don’t step across this line.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Y/n spoke already exhausted with Tamaki’s antics.

“Hey listen boss.” Hikaru spoke, trying to reason with the blonde.

 “I don’t think you get it.” Kaoru following after him.

Honey chimes in 

 “If word gets out that Haru-chan is really a girl, then she won’t be able to be in the host club anymore. But, if Haru-chan started wearing girls' clothes, I’d bet she’d be even cuter than she is now!” 

 “She dressed like a regular girl when she was in middle school, right? She must’ve been pretty popular with all the boys.” Hikaru states.

 Kyoya pushes up his glasses. 

“Yeah, according to my investigative reports, someone would declare their undying love for her at least once a month.”

“How would you even find that type of information?” Y/n asked.

“Oh I see. So the boss wouldn’t even be able to get close to her.” Kaoru spoke with a smug grin forming on the twins faces.

 “But.. we’d be able to because we’re in class with her all day long.” 

“No way!”

Haruhi finally arrived.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m so late.”

“Don’t worry Haruhi! We’re determined to keep your secret! No one will know that you’re really a girl during tomorrow’s physical! So please, promise you’ll stay our beloved secret princess!” Tamaki fussed over Haruhi.

“Sure.” 

“You know what, I think both of us would be a little peeved if we had to watch guys flirt with her.” Hikaru is already jealous at the thought.

“Then that settles it.” Kaoru confirming the idea.

“Listen up squad members! At tomorrow's physical exams, position yourself in formation A. Then, wait for your orders.” Tamaki spoke, taking his role as leader.

“Yessir!” The twins replied eagerly.

“I’ve got it!” Haruhi blurts out, causing the club to look at her.

 “You guys are worried that if they find out I’m a girl, I can’t be a host and therefore, can’t repay my debt. My balance is five million yen… hm, well guess I have to come up with another way to pay my debt. Haha!” 

“Do something! The subject doesn’t appear to have any motivation.” The twins worry over Haruhi.

“Ugh, why’d we have to get stuck with such a difficult heroine.” Tamaki’s  frustration grows, at rather lack of care coming from Haruhi.

 “Are you really saying that you hate being a host, that you hate this club?” 

“To be honest, I'd have to say yes.” Haruhi answered quite bluntly, striking a chord with Y/n.

 “Well that’s a little harsh don’t you think?” Y/n’s anxiety prevalent in his shaky voice, Hoping Haruhi might just be joking, she can’t possibly hate the club that much.

“I mean you guys aren’t bad but if it gets out that I’m a girl, there’s nothing I can do, you know.” Haruhi explained with a smile.

“We have to find a way to motivate her.” Y/n mumbles.

“Maybe-“

“Fancy tuna.” Mori responded.

An idea pops into their heads.

“Oh that’s right. You didn’t get a chance to eat any in the last chapter's party, did you?” Tamaki grins.

 “It would be such a shame leaving the club, without even trying any fancy tuna…” Y/n joins in.

“What are you talking about, I’m not so much of a glutton, I'd go around fooling everyone of my gender. Just to try some fancy tuna… Hahaha… Am I really gonna get to try it?” Haruhi finally caves in, going with the club's plan.

The day of the exam…

  “We will begin conducting physical examinations shortly. 

  All students please proceed to the clinic in your respective school building.”

As everyone heads to the physical exams, they’re greeted by rows of doctors.

 The Hitachiin twins are the first to get called for check ups.

 And Mori and honey are clearly dressed as doctors.

 “They’re so obvious.” Haruhi grumbled

 “I’ve got those two for backup just in case something happens.

Kyoya responses.

“But why are they in doctor disguises?” 

“They’re just helping to set the mood. Disguises make our operation feel like a real espionage mission.” Kyoya responded with an amused tone.

Being Haruhi could say anything a disheveled doctor bumps into Haruhi.

“Uh, I’m terribly sorry.” Then the doctor quickly left.

“No problem…” kyoya spoke with a hint of confusion.

“That’s weird.” Y/n comments.

“Hitachiin brothers, would you please come with me, we’re ready to do your chest measurement. You can use the area behind this curtain to undress.” One of the nurses spoke.

Hikaru starts taking off his shirt.

“Doesn't matter to me.”

Kaoru does the same.

“-we’re not shy, who needs curtains.”

The girls freak out over the sight.

 “See Haruhi, a rather impressive turnout today. Physical exam is quite popular with the ladies.” Kyoya spoke, looking at the crowd. 

“Which is why I prefer private rooms.” Y/n mumbled.

“What?” Haruhi looked at Y/n.

“Sorry just talking to myself.” He nervously explained, picking at his nails.

“Y/n L/n! Please follow me to the rooms.” A nurse spoke with a kind smile.

“That’s my cue, I’ll see you later.” Y/n quickly follows the nurse. Y/n had always disliked this day, giving him the worst anxiety eating from the inside out.

As y/n was led into an empty nurses room he was told to take off his shirt.

 The nurse looks at the clipboard in her left hand.

 “So Y/n how’s your scars healing? I know it's been a few years.” She politely asked, referring to my chest.

“Their healing is fine.” Y/n quickly responded wanting to finish this early.

“Great! I need to grab a few things and I'll be right back!” She cheerfully left the room, closing the door behind her.

 Y/n took a long exhale, trying to calm his nerves.

———-

“I’m telling the truth!” A girl spoke, catching the attention of kyoya, honey and Mori.

 “One of the doctors grabbed me by my shoulder. He was trying to make a pass at me. I’ve never been so terrified.”

 “How scary!” 

“Do you think he’s a pervert?”

“I had a feeling this might happen.” Kyoya sighed.

 “What do you mean?” Honey looked at him.

“A bit earlier today, I saw a strange man. Wearing a white lab coat but clearly not one of our hospital doctors and I thought he was a little odd.” Kyoya answered not really paying attention.

  “Shouldn’t you have told us sooner?” The twins asked.

“Well, it’s not a big deal, I'm sure a security guard will catch him.” Kyoya looked at the twins.

 “Tell me miss, did you happen to notice where the pervert doctor was headed?” A man asked one of the girls.

 “Yes sir, he ran off towards the special boys clinic.”

Kyoya froze, as the other members realized what’s happening.

“Y/n!”

————

“What the hell do you think you're doing!” Y/n screamed trying to push the man off.

 “Ah. No, it’s not what you think, please keep quiet.” He placed his hand on y/n’s mouth, leading to Y/n biting down on his hand, He pulled his hand away in pain as the door swung open, revealing the host club.

“Ahh! Please don’t hurt me! Spare me my life! I’m a doctor. I have a small emergency medical clinic that I run in the next town over, my name is yabu!” 

The doctor pleaded.

As the conversation continued, Y/n still hasn’t fully recovered emotionally. 

His ears are still ringing making it impossible to think, with adrenaline still pumping throughout his body he was hunched over trying to hide his scars...

And after what felt like hours, everyone left to give Y/n room to breathe, however Kyoya was still lingering, struggling with what to do. He wasn’t even sure why he was still here in the first place.

 Kyoya sighs.

“Are you truly okay y/n?” He almost regretted it immediately, slightly shocked at seeing Y/n burst into tears, he stood there not really knowing what to do or even say next.

 He hesitates before opening his arms for an embrace. Y/n quickly accepted, and continued to cry on kyoya.

 He wraps his arm tightly around Y/n. Kyoya and this weird sick feeling looking at the state of y/n, but before he could think he started talking.

“Shh.. it’s okay.. you're okay now.” Kyoya muttered, not sure where this sudden kindness came from. But Y/n didn’t seem to mind.

…..

…

WOOO TWO CHAPTER IN ONE DAY! I am never doing that again. (I probably will) it’s shorter then the rest but enjoy

:]

[mithrandirl]

8, 13, 14, 32 !!

8. What gif trend do you hate

so many honestly. in general i try to not participate in trends because i think a lot of them age very poorly, but to each their own! (and this is purely personal opinion and no hate to anyone who makes them) the google search ones and the pantone color palette ones are my top most hated - they all turn out the same!!!! it's boring.

13. Where or from whom did you learn how to gif

i taught myself half from just messing around in photoshop and half from random tutorials on here, but it took me like a year to really get it lol so i would not recommend that way. but this tutorial by redbelles is how i learned to do most things the correct way.

14. How long does it usually take you to make a set

the last set i did took me maybe.... an hour or two? not long. for simple sets (one scene, 2-3 gifs) that's pretty usual. i tend to make a whole gifset in a day though, unless it requires a lot of thinking like compilations of scenes/paralells/etc and then i can take a week or more, spending most of the time on screencapping and thinking about how i want it to look before i even open photoshop.

32. What is your favorite tool/adjustment layer in Photoshop

lately it's selective color! i've been doing most of my coloring with that and i like how targeted it is. i usually do levels, selective color, and hue/sat for simple coloring

[chaoticgalaxycats]

First post and random rant but regardless I shall continue. Okay so I like I was thinking back on the progression of my ongoing Internet horror phase and how my relationship to it has changed over the years specifically the Creepypasta/Slenderverse aspect of it. Running down the timeline would be interesting in and of itself at least from my perspective but it would be way too lengthy so I'm just going to talk about one of my favorite tidbits on it. Specifically how I got into Marble Hornets.

So I guess the best place to start is by the point I even heard of Marble Hornets I had already been into Creepypasta for a bit at that point and I only was aware of the fanon versions of Hoody and Masky. Basically fanon versions in a nutshell are the quiet shy uwu soft boy who is best friends with the blue eyed cheesecake obsessed twink looking ass who is essentially Dwight Schrute but lame and they work for Slenderman willingly and they're totally loyal to him (this is not at all accurate fuck the fanon versions).

Basically one day when I was doing character research and checked the wikis for them it turns out they were from a series called Marble Hornets and Marble Hornets kept being referenced when I was consuming content. So eventually I stumbled upon a video compiling the full series and I watched the first few entries without any context to the story and then I immediately dipped out because I was too scared. I had a very low fear tolerance at the time hence the reason why I dipped out.

Essentially from then on I kept ignoring the existence of Marble Hornets until I would like to say 2 or 3 years later I started reading headcanons of characters and one of them was a mixture of Creepypasta and Marble Hornets this caused me to slowly incorporate stuff into my characters and universe is also an entire other rant that I'm not going into detail on. This is what caused me to learn of Jay's and Alex's existence as I really did not pay attention to the first few entries I watched of the series. Over time as I used characters from Marble Hornets without actually watching it. It became more and more apparent to me that I actually needed to eventually get into it.

I remembered how long it was from when I was a kid and I didn't want to spend 9 hours of my time on it so instead I looked up and explained the series and lo and behold I found Night Minds explained. So late one night I watched all of it and I was enthralled this was one of the best pieces of Internet horror that I have consumed to date. The story was cohesive, The characters were compelling, and The horror was good even while watching the summarized version I was able to be disturbed. but this is also how I realized two things how really different Masky/Tim and Hoody/Brian were from there fanon counterparts and I had been portraying them incredibly inaccurately this entire time and that Jay had been completely fucking ignored by anyone who was not watched Marble Hornets that was a shame because I love his character.

This revelation was huge for me at the time and this caused a giant hyperfixation on Marble Hornets. And it entirely shifted how I created my stories and how I had characters interact. It also introduced me to the existence of ARGs. Like I had watched videos on horror series before but I had never heard of an ARG up to this point so I was intrigued. That is an entire other can of worms so I will just stop it there and continue on talking about my experience with my Marble Hornets.

Regardless after that point I would introduce Marble Hornets whoever I could I used the Night Mind explained series to show people it rather than watching the actual series though I have to embarrassingly admit that I did not actually watch the entire series on the original channel. In fact I had not watched Marble Hornets in its full until recently.

For a long time while doing research on marble Hornets I had heard about news of follow-Ups such as Clear Lakes 44 which by this point is now canceled and I have not watched at all. About a year after this I heard about ECKVA as well, but I haven't bothered watching it because it was on pause and I don't want to get into something that I know is not going to have a continuation for a while if ever. But who knows, maybe I'll watch it eventually.

Soon after I heard about the comics I just couldn't find anywhere to read them. And there were three times I would do searches before I finally got my hands on the comics. My first search started with searching for comic dubs at the comics on YouTube but then I did not find any so I soon gave up and didn't revisit the search. The second time I tried I eventually found the comics actually existed through searches on Amazon but I wasn't able to find listings for the physical copies just copies through Amazon Kindle. It wasn't until the third time looking into this that I finally found the website and due to having the financial means to purchase the first comic I soon purchased it and waited for its arrival. By the time I had purchased the comics I had watched the summarized series from Night Mind on YouTube about three times. I read the comics over the course of a few months and had finally finished reading them around February of this year.

So very recently a few weeks ago I was showing another one of my friends Marble Hornets. I again used The Night Mind summarized series but slowly over the course of rewatching the series I had another realization. I owned all the comics, was incredibly into the series, and talked about it all the time but I had never watched the original in it's full which gave me a crisis and made me feel like a fake fan. So after I had that entire crisis a week later I finally bit the bullet and decided to watch the full series in its entirety for the first time.

I sat down and was preparing myself for a long 9-hour binge and expected it to be a lot to get through. It turned out not to be though I got through it over the course of a week. Watched season 1 in one day, Season 2 in about 2 days, and watched season 3 over the course of 4 days. Now I'm here. I can confidently say I have watched Marble hornets in its entirety. Honestly Night Mind was right. The best experience is watching it on your own and not using his as a substitute like I did. I was intimidated by how there were tweets to follow along with and codes but If you watch the series on YouTube with all the entries and To The Ark videos it's a pretty easy and comprehensible story to follow without the tweets.

So yeah that's my experience getting into Marble Hornets I have watched the series either five times or One time and four times on the abbreviated one. For anyone reading this thank you for taking interest in my shitty ramblings on the experience of how I got into Marble Hornets I hope this was interesting at the very least.

A lot of me watching Marble Hornets was also me doing research on how to accurately portray characters in like personal AU/Story I have on Creepypasta and Marble Hornets. I doubt anyone would want to hear about that but if people do I guess I might talk about it if there's enough interest. But I doubt this post will get any attention since it's Tumblr.

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

I noticed that now that school season is coming ever closer, very soon lots of y'all will probably be spending 7 hours for 5 days a week in a very densely populated environment for the first time in a few months because of school, so here's my little mask PSA! Yes, in 2024.

(note: the more reading I did the more this became a GET FREAKIN VACCINATED psa, generally, keep in mind that your risk of getting ANY of the problems described below ((or causing them in others)) is reduced by staying in date with your Covid vax, so keep up with it if that's available to you. The more of y'all that are vaxxed, the more it helps others who can't or won't, and yourselves.)

oh wow doesn't that cute clipart I stole just completely inspire you to read all this

the post is a slight bit longer than intended, but each bullet point is pretty short. the first bit is some facts I read from the CDC after that there's a few tips on masking that I read from various sources and some personal experience.

having been infected with COVID 19 before does not prevent you from getting it again and potentially infecting others, and you may experience different symptoms than before.

having been infected with COVID 19 before definitely will not protect you from an entirely different variant of it.

millions of people have long covid, a chronic disease state potentially affecting multiple organ systems, as a result from being infected with Sars-Cov-2

this link is CDC information on keeping your vaccine up to date

my information above this point is from the CDC, but I definitely implore you to do your own reading instead of just interpreting what I've managed to both comprehend and compile into a rather succinct tumblr blog post.

this one is entirely anecdotal, but the only time I have gotten sick PERIOD in the past four years was when I got COVID from someone I ate lunch with, the only time I am ever in public without a mask is when I'm eating.

Data I found for my state indicates a currently low COVID rate (i checked a few places to be sure), however data is only collected from hospitalizations and presented as ratios in any of the sources I've found, which does not help me get an accurate number of confirmed cases to give y'all. Nevertheless, I recommend looking up what data you can for your own region, I wish you luck that it is more informative.

wearing a mask can prevent the spread of other airborne diseases besides COVID 19, so certain times of the year with an increase in airborne contagious diseases as well as time spent in a building with hundreds of other people whose hygiene and vaccination status are completely out of your control and knowledge are especially important times to wear a mask.

I am sure to keep a few paper masks (still individually wrapped bc they come that way and it keeps 'em clean) in my car in addition to the masks I have inside that I put on before going out, just to make sure I'm never caught off guard. toss it when you're home and replace to leave again. (I think same rules for taking it off for an extended period of time- since the side that would go pressed up against your face is now also exposed to the air)

if you don't drive, leave them in your purse or coat pocket, or keep a fabric one on your keyring bc some of them are made to fold up n do that.

KN95 masks are supposed to be even better at preventing disease spread!! same rules as paper masks.

if nothing else, a set of fabric masks is a one time purchase, however the filters must still be changed out daily(though apparently there are also filters that are washable and reusable, though I've only ever used single-use filters in fabric masks before), the mask itself should also be washed daily, or thrown in the wash each time you come home to be replaced with another in your rotation before you go back out.

personally, I intend to go back to double-layering a paper and 3-layer/fabric duo soon, and I actually learned some new information while reading up to make this post.

even if you can't keep up with every single rule, masking at all is better than not, and keeping up your hygiene helps too! wash with soap when available and keep hand sanitizer on hand, etc.

[dirtanddistance]

Grandma's Marathon 2024 Race Recap: Sometimes, you PR. Other times, you're just trying to stay out of the ER.

A wise woman once told me "a marathon in 20 miles of hope and 6.2 miles of truth." At the 2024 Grandma's Marathon in Duluth, Minnesota, I can confidently say I did not get a full 20 miles of hope, and certainly got more than 6.2 miles of truth.

The first question you might be asking yourself about this race report is, "What on Earth were you doing in Duluth, Minnesota? You live in Canada. Your brother who went with you lives in Florida. You are not trying to qualify for Boston. If you were trying to qualify for Boston you are a day trip away from any number of other net downhill qualifying races. Explain yourself." Dear reader, winding up spending a long weekend in Minnesota with my brother is the consequence of a pact that we made last year to run a destination race (a marathon - this detail will matter later) together every year now that we do not live near each other, and we both are very much into running far. We both compiled wish lists of sorts for marathons we thought would be great adventures to go on together, and after running the Vancouver Marathon together last year, it was my brother's turn to choose. I honestly do not know what exactly made him select Grandma's Marathon, but of course as it is a very well reviewed and beloved event in the marathon world, it made it onto his list. I did not check his math on this decision. We signed up when registration opened, virtual high fived at our brilliant decision, and carried on with our lives.

We were not fully aware of the logistics that would come for us in the ensuing months. As you might have noticed, there is no mention of 'booking flights' or 'reserving hotel rooms' in our initial description. And that would be because we did not do any of those things until about 2 months before the race. I can confidently tell you that everyone else on the internet is right when they tell you that you should be booking your hotel for Grandma's the day after the previous year's race. We were ready to book an RV 38 miles outside of town on AirBnb before I finally found a hotel room with a much more reasonable location and amenities. Holding my nose and paying for the hotel room aside, it was time to book flights. Duluth, Minnesota is conveniently located pretty much between Florida and British Columbia, which sounds like a good compromise for two people 3,000 miles apart seeking a destination to meet in. What this does not mention is the fact that flying into the Duluth airport is prohibitively expensive, and you will be flying into Minneapolis, renting a car, and driving two and a half hours to Duluth instead. Now, for two siblings who haven't caught up in a minute, this is not a massive imposition and allowed for a memorable side quest for tacky souvenirs at the Mall of America. However, it is a less charming feature when you have to get back to the airport for one sibling's 9am flight on Monday morning after the race. All of this to say, if you are considering Grandma's Marathon, do not overlook the logistical details.

Warnings out of the way, I rolled out of bed at 3am on a Thursday morning and dragged myself through YVR onto what was thankfully a direct flight to Minneapolis. After an unremarkable plane ride (as unremarkable as hurtling through the sky in a metal tube to a destination over a thousand miles away), I landed in the Land of 10,000 Lakes and lumbered off the jetway to the sight of my little brother, clad in a matching pickleball jacket and shorts set with his Pit Viper sunglasses and a coffee in hand. We found our way to the car rental counter, where we discovered our first hurdle of the trip: some kind of crisis which resulted in us standing in a line for about an hour to pick up the rental car. This left us plenty of time to commiserate about air travel and snap a selfie for our ever-concerned mother. Car keys in hand, we rolled out to find some lunch at the famed Mall of America. Now, the Mall of America is the largest mall in the United States, maybe all of North America, I don't know. I find this claim a bit spurious because while it is a very big mall which contains an entire theme park and aquarium, a number of the retail stores are DUPLICATES. Which, fine, maybe you do need multiple Caribou Coffee locations in case fatigue strikes while you're several floors and a couple of wings separated from the coffee shop, but I will draw the line at multiple Bath and Body Works location in a single mall. This is the American Excess they warn you about. Anyway, we wandered the Nickelodeon Universe and wax nostalgic about the icons of our childhood before finding our way to the food court, the ultimate lunch destination for diametrically different dietary needs travel parties. I snagged the largest acai bowl I've ever seen (it was called 'yacht' size and while I don't think it could fit an entire Leonardo DiCaprio and whichever model he is currently dating, it was still a formidable opponent even for as hungry as I was) and waited up while my brother fetched a fried chicken sandwich meal from Popeye's, which he would later admit to regretting. We then proceeded to put in our first 10,000 steps in the land of 10,000 lakes by wandering every wing of every floor of the Mall of America in search of the perfect tacky treats to bring back to our loved ones and also so that we could say we'd walked the entire Mall of America and seen everything it had to offer. As someone who grew up in a state known for its endless theme park offerings and moved somewhere known for its endless natural amenities while also having tons of large and vibrant indoor shopping malls, I can't say that the Mall of America was for me, but if you ever happen to find yourself in the Twin Cities it was an interesting stop (and there is a food for every appetite in that food court).

Several hours, a stop at the oldest Target location, and numerous gossip topics later, we found ourselves at the hotel in Superior, Wisconsin. When the race materials suggested that the entire surrounding area was really invested in this event, I was not prepared for the random Holiday Inn we were staying at to be completely decked out for marathon weekend. Balloon banners, buckets of bananas and water bottles, little party favor bags in the rooms with more snacks and sunscreen and race-day instruction printouts. I have never been to an event where the city so thoroughly embraces the race weekend energy. We settled in before exhaustedly conceding that we did in fact have to eat dinner, and dragged ourselves to the Perkins across the street where we reminisced about our family's long abandoned ritual of weekly dinner at Perkin's after church on Sunday while I picked at a rather sad collection of side dishes (eating vegan in the Midwest isn't that hard. Eating vegan at Perkins on the other hand...).

Friday dawned and it was time to hit the race expo and check out a bit of downtown Duluth. The race expo had everything you'd expect... many booths hawking Gu and related products, headbands and shirts with cheesy slogans, booths touting methods to 'reset your nervous system' and 'refresh your blood'. After doing a maple syrup shot and drinking a few different flavors of Celcius, we grabbed our packets and were struck with immediate concern at the lack of t-shirts. As it turns out, Grandma's Marathon gatekeeps its finisher shirts and you will not be collecting one unless you cross that finish line yourself.

Friday evening brought the highly touted Michelena's All You Can Eat Spaghetti Dinner. I'm not certain I've ever seen so many people eating in one location, not even in a university dining hall. The quantities of pasta served were gargantuan. You are by default presented with two dinner rolls as your starting portion, with entire loaves of bread out on the table to follow up. Choccy milk and ice cream also abounded. For the low price of just under $20, there was truly no excuse for not being properly fueled for race day.

Speaking of no excuses, we arrive at race day (yes, I know, we're far into a race report for only just getting to the actual race now. Sorry not sorry). After being rudely awakened by two iPhone alarms perfectly in sync, we dragged ourselves through a semblance of a morning routine. Being so early, and being the more morning-oriented sibling of the two of us, I did succeed in convincing my brother to adorn himself with stick on face gems, as is my custom for races these days. He quite appropriately selected two teardrop shaped gems, "one for every marathon I've killed". Boys will be boys (wholesome) I suppose. We rolled up to the parking lot at the University of Wisconsin - Superior, and beheld the bus line to get to the starting line. This is another quirk of Grandma's Marathon - it is a point to point race, and you get to contemplate the full gravity of your decision to sign up for it on a half hour or so bus ride to the start line. I cannot imagine the logistics gymnastics required to get 9,000 people to the start lines via school buses, but after waiting in line for a bit in the misting rain as busload after busload ahead of us were ferried off, we got onto a bus and the journey truly began.

The starting line was a gauntlet of finish line drop bag collection trucks and porta potties, and a nervous huddled mass praying that the rain would continue to hold off on such a gray and dismal morning. We did our rounds of bathroom and stand-around-observing until it was time to surrender our jackets to the drop back trash cans to be reclaimed at the end of our Ordeal.

We shuffled into our packed corrals, and as the countdown proceeded and the gun went off, we trotted over the start line and down the highway. Now, I will say that the marathon course is quite pretty. You run along a two lane highway for miles and miles, sometimes getting a glimpse of the (angry and gray, on our race day) lake. It is a bit repetitive. You run along Superior for... well, basically the whole race. We were running along at a brisk clip, beating our pacing recommendations without much effort, chasing PRs (for us, sub 3:56:30). We made it to the half marathon point and continued along, but I quickly started to feel the pace catching up with me. By mile 15, I was starting to feel a bit dizzy and nauseous. My brother was doing ok, and he started to pull ahead. By Mile 17, we were officially separated out and my new goal was to stay out of the med tent and avoid an expensive trip to the emergency room. I was thirsty the entire time despite everything feeling sloshy and adhering religiously to my nutrition plan. My brain was simply not prepared for the reality of grinding out 26.2 miles as fast as I could manage on the road. I was quickly discovering that sandwiching a 'fast' road marathon between two trail ultras, without doing any speed workouts and avoiding road running to the greatest extent possible, was simply not something I had cracked this time around. I patted myself on the back metaphorically for coming to terms with my failure rather quickly and for deciding to grit my teeth and get to that finish line no matter how undignified I felt about it. This is where thing became surprising. Despite the pain, and the rain, and the fact that it was kinda cold (too cold to walk for the entire rest of the race for me), the entire race flew by. Even the miles I had to walk some of. I never was out there thinking, 'how much longer?! HOW WILL I ENDURE?!" It just... went by. It didn't matter that the course was kinda boring. It didn't matter that everything hurt and I didn't feel so good. I recalibrated my expectations, trucked along, enjoyed the silly signs and cheers of the spectators (they are just as enthusiastic after hours in the rain. Duluth has an A+ cheering section for sure). I paid attention to all of the makeshift aid stations with juice or beer or fruit. The sign that said "all toenails go to heaven". The fact that from what I could tell, the same spectators were moving from point to point, which is a feat of dedication in and of itself.

As I closed in on downtown Duluth in the final mile, the desire to just walk it in mounted. It was cold. It was rainy. I was over it. However, the spectators mercilessly encouraged anyone who dropped pace and I simply could not handle being yelled at to keep running, so I trudged along. Meters from the finish, the fellow next to me goes, "we're here! We did it!" in awe, and damn if I didn't kinda start crying because yeah, we are here, and we have done it. I have no idea what kind of journey it was for him (but from his tone I might guess it was his first marathon finish), and he had no idea that I too was feeling fairly awed by my ability to drag myself all the way to the finish line in spite of the many things that fell apart for me that morning. We both made it across the finish line, me with a new personal worst marathon time, and my new compatriot very dramatically dropped to his knees with his hands to the sky. I very quickly hobbled away at this point as that was not a narrative that I wished to be included in, and finally the pain and discontent had their chance to hit me full on. As I gimped along with my medal, a photographer flagged me to "Pose with your medal!". Which I totally did because no is not in my midwestern pedigreed vocabulary, but I quickly started crying seconds after that photo was taken. I was handed a mylar blanket (or 'heat sheet' as they called it) and continued my sad, damp, sniffly shuffle to find my brother. At this point I was aware of a new dire issue, which is that the empty Gu wrapper I had shoved in my side pocket under my phone felt as though it had chafed a hole through the side of my leg, and my only remaining consolation was that seeing as I had not passed my brother on the course, it was possible that he was having a slightly better day than me.

This hope was dashed as my eyes alighted on a sad red-headed boy sitting wrapped in a heat sheet under a tree. I hobbled over and also took a seat, at which point he says "I was going to go get my drop back but I can't get up". As the rain continued to fall, we looked forlornly at the lineups of people waiting to collect their drop bags. The competing desires of 'sit forever because wow my legs hurt' and 'I am going to freeze to death if I keep sitting here soaking wet with only a mylar blanket to my name' roiled in our heads until finally, the need to get dry and warmed up won out. While we did have to stand in line for a bit to finally reunite with our jackets and some dry clothes, I will say (full offense intended) that it was more organized than the Sun Run drop back pick up.

I will not go into graphic detail about peeling off clothes that are both sweat and rain soaked in a tent full of other sticky sweaty damp people, the floor blanketed in abandoned heat sheets. I was impressed to discover that while the wayward Gu packet that I was too polite to toss on the road did not bore a literal bleeding hole in my leg, I did have a chafe so bad that in subsequent hours and days it would scab over and make it difficult to sleep. Just when you think you've mastered your chafing prevention routine, nature finds a way.

The trial did not end with getting changed, however. Now that we were warm, dry, and in pain, it was time to hobble the quarter mile or so to the finish line bus stop. Finally checking our phones, we saw our mom's request for additional photos and snapped a very grumpy selfie on the way. Every foot step was a new nightmare as every few seconds one of us thought aloud, "are we there yet?" Finally we reached the buses; I will be the first to tell you that there is nothing more enjoyable than riding an un-air conditioned school bus packed full of sticky, sweaty, damp adults.

We finally made it back to the hotel in a torrent of vague discomfort and grumbling, cleaned up, and landed in the Nirvana that was the clean hotel beds with our respective Nintendo Switch/Steam Decks and snacks. When dinner time rolled around, we ventured back out (full of complaints) to a well reviewed Mexican restaurant. When I tell you this place was sketchy as hell to find, I am not exaggerating. We got lost on a 5 minute drive to the place. The windowless venue on the side of a larger warehouse type building was menacing and did not look like a promising place to find a post-marathon meal. However, upon opening the door, we were greeted by a delightful interior and more tortilla chips than either of us could safely house in our GI tracts. Sometimes, there are secrets to be found in the unlikeliest of places.

The remainder of the trip involves BOGO sourdough loaves, 'vacation coffee', and limping around Duluth the following day which was miraculously sunny. More important than any one thing we did on this trip, though, was the chance to just hang out together. We hadn't gotten to go on a sibling side quest that wasn't a funeral or funeral-adjacent in... well, a very long time. And while those tough experiences brought us together and shaped who we are, it's only in quiet moments of mundane togetherness that you truly get to enjoy who another person is.

In conclusion, our pilgrimage to Duluth taught me a few things.

Always check the full logistics before signing up for a race.

I have to do speed workouts if I want to run PR times. Lame.

We would've crushed a half marathon. Too bad we were signed up for a full marathon.

You should consider cherishing and curating your personal worst performances with as much love and care as your personal best performances.

Just because you hit a physical wall does not mean you need to build a mental wall to match, and your ability to scale your mental walls directly correlates to how you will navigate your physical walls.

The refried beans you eat after a marathon are the best refried beans you will ever experience in your life.

Consider travel insurance if you want to embody the PR-or-ER ethos.

Having a buddy, whether or not you run together, can very easily help you find a 'why' on a tough run. And that 'why' can be 'I need to not keep my brother waiting so long that he loses any remaining respect for me so no more walking'.

Road or trail, rain or shine, PR or ER, there's always more to learn about yourself and others out there.

[realmeganamram]

GOOP GIFT GUIDE

HELLO, all! Gwynnie here! Welcome to another issue of Goop, my newsletter for people who enjoy the finer things in life. I’m proud to present our annual gift guide. Just because I’m Gwyneth Paltrow, it doesn’t mean I can’t kick back and enjoy the holidays. I put my winter-capris on one cashmere leg at a time, just like you!

Here, I’ve compiled my favorite buys for every type of person. Whether you want to spend $7,900,000 or $8,000,000, we’ve got the right gift for you!

FOR THE CENTERED SOUL

Trinket vessel ($339)

If you’re like me, your trinkets end up all over the place: hidden inside your artisanal peony terrarium, strewn on your wicker birthing chairs, veiled behind a piping hot cup of acai-and-clamshell tea. Keep your trinkets neat and tidy with this minimalist, torus-shaped vessel. So stunning.

Candle masseuse ($197 per hour)

This moderately priced candle masseuse will massage your candles (votive or taper!) for a clearer, more intense burn. Why not treat your candles to a little holiday cheer?

Free-range dream catcher ($418-$523)

Did you know that the human body is 70 percent dreams? Most dream catchers sequester a dream until it’s cramped and broken, like a calf for veal. This dream catcher, made from organic, non-G.M.O. wheats and berries, allows the dream to roam free until the moment of humane confinement. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Dreams (PETD) gave it three “Zzz’s” up!

Very tiny tarot cards ($196)

This adorable gold-leafed tarot set is perfect for a tiny bird, or even a small mouse!

FOR THE FEELER

Geranium eye mist ($515)

If you happen to have lost the ability to cry through a combination of Botox and cocktail of personality disorders, this floral-scented eye irritant will produce extremely realistic tears immediately upon contact! Perfect for funerals, Oscar speeches and haggling with your local fishmonger.

Porcelain-and-crystal bisque ($3,400)

This soup looks better than the real thing! A sculpture of a bowl of soup made entirely of solid porcelain and healing crystals. Can be used as decoration or a meal replacement. I lost 64 pounds by replacing three meals a day with thinking about crystals!

Leather divorce papers ($279 for pack of four)

He can’t not sign these! Made from the tanned hides of Wagyu show-steers, these gorgeous, legally binding divorce papers will make consciously uncoupling a pleasure. After the divorce is finalized, treat yourself to thinking about a crystal bowl of ice cream. Your body will love you for it.

FOR THE WANDERER

‘We Are the 1 Percent’ Globe ($2,914)

Ever think to yourself, “there are just too many countries”? Well, then, this beautifully enameled, reclaimed, no-kill ivory globe is just for you. We removed any countries with a G.D.P. of less than $2 trillion, according to the World Bank, leaving the United States, China, Japan, Germany, Britain, France, Brazil, Italy and India. These countries have been arranged according to celebrity child consultant North West in a cute, minimalist neo-Pangaea land mass.

Human picture frame ($670-$1,890 plus annual food and water stipend)

A picture frame for people who don’t do picture frames. Hire this human adult man to hold your photos silently in front of his face. Comes in three practical sizes: tween, medium and Swedish.

PETD membership ($530,700 for one year)

Give the gift of a one-year membership to this up-and-coming association created to protect and advance the art of dreams. It’s very exclusive. There are very few members. There is only one member. I am the only member.

FOR THE FUN-LOVER

Real-Life Monopoly set (about $42,420,595)

Why still play old-fashioned board games with rinky-dink pieces and flimsy dollars? It’s 2015, for my-close-friend-Pete-Sampras’s sake! We’ve found an incredible option for the serious gamer: a real-life Monopoly set using real U.S. currency, houses and hotels. Each kit comes with thirty-two (32) actual, livable houses strewn across the Eastern Seaboard, each worth $200,000, and twelve (12) fully-functional hotels each worth $3,000,000. Price includes a beautiful locally sourced burlap sack with actual bills worth $20,580.

Floor-length jean shorts ($4,415)

As if jorts couldn’t get more stylish! A bit pricey, but you’re paying for the detail: The seamstresses who make these fashion essentials have painstakingly pulled out the seams of jorts to create an entirely new kind of pant, one that stretches down to the floor.

Twister With Gwyneth ($4,600)

I’ve put my own spin (pun intended!) on the classic contortion-based child’s game. Instead of a bunch of colored dots on a mat, my Twister is just one ecru dot in the middle of the tarp. It’s sleeker and has a gorgeous minimalist aesthetic. To play, you just stand in the middle of the mat and have your human picture frame read you a Basho haiku. So fun.

FOR THE SPLURGER

D.I.Y. novel set ($13,000)

These inspirational books will have you writing in no time. We’ve found a whole set of first-edition Jane Austen novels, ripped out all the pages, and replaced them with blank pages. You’ll feel her spirit in every line that you write.

One hundred dollar bill ($1,000)

What says “holidays” more than cold hard cash? Plus, Ben Franklin looks adorable here. Hang it on the wall as cute art for a nursery or fringe the edges and use as garnish for a summer salad.

Yoga mat (market price, around $106,500,500)

This yoga mat is made out of a Picasso.

[ceramicdove]

What made you want to go to an art school? (I hope this doesn't come off as accusatory)

Thank you so much for asking:-) READING THIS AS ACCUSATORY IS SUCH AN AMUSING THING TO DO no worries, I didn't feel it was an accusation at all, though perhaps even so, it would have an ounce of comical fairness to it.

...I didn't have many options! or rather, I did, but only in the sense that I had good enough grades to get into any major (the system here requires you to take national middle school "graduation" exams, and the options you have for high-school can be affected by that. you might not be able to get into certain high-ranking majors if your grades are too low. my grades and portofolio were solid enough to land me wherever, thankfully).

The middle school I attended was a big-name STEM-oriented school, and most children in my grade were pushed by their parents to pursue the maths+compsci major so they wouldn't be disappointments. I had dipped my feet into the realm of compsci before and quickly found that I couldn't stand spending hours fixing tedious compiler errors and being colleagues with freak teenage boys.

I live in a medium-small town, so not every option was available to me. there's just not enough teachers nor money to run all these departments. if I had free reign after 8th grade, I would probably be in a theatre department right now. But the only theatre department in town disappeared long ago, so I had to settle between the other two majors that would land me being asked "can you...like...get any REAL jobs with that, though?" at all of my family gatherings for the next 4 years: english or visual art.

English was an easy call. I could get into the 2 best schools that hosted that major and be set. but every teacher I'd known at the time warned me that they'd have nothing new to teach me, that I'd just stagnate there, that I'd be better off studying english in university, not high-school.

I didn't want to take the easy way out, and I knew art school would very well break my mental limits given how fragile and warped my self-esteem and work ethics were. I went for it and started working for my entrance portofolio so I could study under the toughest mentor in the school.

I got in, and I was right! this place most certainly tore my mental limits down! I remember the misery of my 5 AM working nights during the very first semester. my mentor, a known figure, is a peculiar middle-aged man with eyes and tone dead enough to scare off any 4th grader unfortunate enough to walk into his workshop to ask for paint brushes. he doesn't compliment anybody. his only positive feedback is a monotone "Not bad". If you're fortunate enough, maybe "It's good", or even "Congratulations". I have never seen him smile in a way that wasn't mocking. he'll sometimes throw your art supplies in the trash if they're bad quality (and if he's having a bad day). kids tell stories about him throwing chairs at students.

He's fun.

I still wonder what my life would be like if I were elsewhere, but this is my answer: I don't have a beautiful and sensible story about being an angelic painting prodigy who came to art school to meditate and find spiritual peace via making abstract art. I came here because I knew it would rot my brain, and I wanted to push myself and build my character via brute force.

I certainly did get just that. in a way, I don't truly regret it:-]

[tfunai-acmwo-capstone]

October 16th

Significant progress has been made!

Not only did I make some breakthroughs with my conceptualization, I did a lot of the prep work to initiate further progress. My foundation has been established and I will only make more progress from here.

First off, my idealized end date of the entire project is by the end of October because I will be making beyond daily efforts to complete this project, furthermore, I have cut back on other responsibilities to get rolling.

If this idealized date is not true, I intend to be done a little less than a month from now on November 12th, which leaves two weeks and some change from the deadline of my capstone.

Anyway, now for the progress I made: I spent a lot of time today focusing on how to tie all these shot ideas together, so I went to other, popular music videos for inspiration. I compiled a list of music video inspirations and mainly focused on how they communicated ideas in time with the beats. There was a combination of edits timed to the beats or movement within the frame to accomplish this. What's more, I recognized that many shots were just filler, so I don't need to think of every scene and every word. The one artist whose videos I studied the most was Childish Gambino, this video in particular was profoundly influential.

Next, I made two big purchases that are important for my project.

Number 1: Cardboard Boxes

These cardboard boxes are essential because all of my "higher production" props will be made out of cardboard, principally, my rocket ship. I think one day solely dedicated to crafts should be enough, but it likely will not be. I bought eight fresh boxes for the bigger props and I've been collecting other boxes for much smaller props.

Number 2: Spray Paint

The spray paint is important for coloring the cardboard, but more important for the backdrops. I still need to create a backdrop of space for my project, so I am still trying to source large back drop paper, or anything big enough to hold. In the back, you can also see template material so that I can quickly create shapes without spending hours and hours handcrafting it. After I establish a base, I should be able to quickly deploy art without hassle.

_____

I've also made progress with my scene partner. We are preparing our lines, and I've been discussing her the appropriate wardrobe for the picnic scene.

I've been doing whatever I can so I'm a bit all over, but I've been keeping lists to make sure all of this is directed toward something.